CHAMPIONS!

CHAMPIONS!

IVP Champions, 2012. 

WE FUCKING DID IT! CHAMPIONS!!! I honestly thought my heart was going to stop beating when we concluded the first half at 2-4. But we came back a phenomenal 5-1 in the second half and finished off 7-5 at the final whistle. I don't know where or how we found it in us to do, but each and everyone of us had it in us and boy, we wanted those gold medals. To every single one of you, you were amazing.

There is no better way to end my last game in NUS. It's been four long years and we finally, finally got the trophy back! This one's for you, Karen. Thank you, for everything.

And to myself, remember this moment of glory and victory. Remember to always keep your eyes on what's most important. Remember that in everything you do, have heart.

CNY traditions, old & new

CNY traditions, old & new

Width of smile is proportionate to the amount of alcohol in this family.

My family is not too big on Christmas and New Year's, but when it comes to the CHINESE New Year, boy, that we're super big on. I secretly suspect it's Mommy favourite festive season of the year. We go on a crazy mission to rid the house of every speck of dust, decorate the entire house (which includes but is not restricted to the lift lobby) in red and gold, plaster posters of the favoured animal for that respective year on the walls, cook enough to feed an army or maybe two. I always describe my CNY as nonstop action-packed!

Being my mother's daughter, I am crazy enough to add new traditions of my own to the list and make the fullest of the festivities to meet up with all my loved ones! Of course, it starts at home with a huge reunion feast, prepared with so much love by Mommy, topped with copious alcohol. It's always a battle between Daddy and I, to see who loses the war with the Z monsters after. Hahaha.

Then it'd be a trip to Glenn's, usually on the second day, to bai nian to his parents and extended family. And I tell you, his extended family really redefines the meaning of "extended". There are so many aunties, uncles, grandaunts, granduncles, cousins, nephews and nieces! And man, you definitely do not want to mistake the niece of your boyfriend as his auntie. But luckily, or should I say unluckily, for us, his nieces and nephews are actually all little enough for me not to make that kinda mistake.

I sincerely hope no one mistook our relations. It must have been a such a shock.

This year, with Glenn's jiejie being away, we were in charge of taking the little tots down for a walk. Man, this walk in the park was definitely not a walk in the park. And these are two people who did not have much sleep the night before due to mahjong kaki duties. We were up till 6am and went to bed just before sunrise! I even have a Hello Kitty toy to prove my visit to McDonalds in the wee hours (the only hour when any 22yo dares to order a Happy Meal and ask for the toy, really)!

And of course you'd totally expect me to have friends who love the festivities as much as I do and celebrate as religiously as I do too. It's been an annual gathering at Phuay's since we were in JC and we've been keeping it up every year since then! It's always like JC reunion, except better, with pineapple tarts and angbaos!

Then it's our annual pig out session at my place with the closest and the oldest friends, who all love my wonderful Mommy more than they love me. Yes, over the years, they have sort of given up on hoping that I'd inherit some of those culinary skills. I've been declared a lost cause in the kitchen. Hahaha. This year I invited some of the touch girls and mixed up the group a little and everyone enjoyed the new dynamics very much! What friendship can't be forged over a pack of poker cards and some loose change from the angpaos?

See, I really wasn't kidding when I said CNY is nonstop action-packed for me. How was yours? (:

oh, winter

oh, winter

Sometimes I wish there were seasons in this part of the world. I miss winter. Snow, unlike rain, dances in the sky instead of plummeting straight down. Laying a soft veil over the world, it paints everything white and creates a world of its own. Snow tastes mildly sweet on your tongue, something like morning dew, I'd imagine. 

I miss the cold on my cheeks when I step out of the house in the morning. The routine of picking out the outfit for the day, layer by layer, becomes precious in retrospect; and the act of bending over to zip up my boots sacred; and of course, the soft crunch of snow under my feet as I sink my boots into the white carpet magical. 

The cold air feels different in my lungs - reinvigorating. It courses through my body, makes my blood tingle with life and finally exits through my mouth in a puff. Winter changes the whole state of being. It makes me feel... alive. In the land of cold, I'm the only source of warmth. In the night sky, the shooting star is the only light, charting its own course, leaving a burning trail. 

Oh winter, I miss you so. 

of rainbows

of rainbows

Glasgow, 2010.

On the eye of the Lunar New Year, after a magnificent bout of afternoon showers, a double rainbow rose over the Singapore skies. It was beautiful. (Or so I've learnt afterwards, looking through the endless stream of photos on Facebook.)

In another time and place, we were together, our feet soaked from the wet grass, standing atop a hill, in the middle of the Necropolis. Then the evening sun peeked out for a wee bit, its rays hitting the tiny droplets that were dancing in the air, forming a rainbow halfway across the sky. I was so thrilled. This must be a sign that, put in the most cliched words, we will brave all our storms together. 

Rainbows, I hope they'd always remind me of that afternoon in Glasgow. 

2012 so far

2012 so far

I am bouncing and bursting with excitement as I type this. Not the usual I'm-so-excited-about-this-party-I'm-going-to kinda excitement. It's more of a rich sense of anticipation, like watching a good movie and smiling before the end reveals itself because you just know. 2012 holds so much potential for and promise of beautiful things waiting to happen and there's such a certainty in my heart that I'm about to first implode then explode with joy.

In this moment, as my fingers dance across the keyboard following some cosmic choreography, this is the last day of 2012 and the last day in forever. In this moment, I imagine life to be a long, winding railroad cutting through breathtaking landscape and snaking through dark caves. In this moment, I alight at a platform perched on a cliff, where I have the astounding view of the past, the present and the future. The platform is today, the last day I'll know, until the next day comes. 

So, the last day. We won! And damn, it feels good! It's been a long time coming. Fast backward a couple of months. I was stuck in a rut, sick of commitments and tired of trying. I didn't want to play anymore. Somehow I stayed. Somehow I played. Today, I remembered why I love this game and why I love this team. I am good at this. The dive, the speed, the hands. I've got it. Today, we showed it. 

40 minutes and a victory later, I see a text from G, wishing me luck and reminding about Uncle G's birthday dinner. Boots in hand, dress unkempt and bag over my shoulder, I ran barefooted to the lobby into the cab that I called. In a rush. Headrush. Heady from all the love and attention from people who are quite suddenly, family. 

"How's your eye?" "How's your eye?" "How's your eye?" 

In the year 2012, I had a serious eye infection. I saw four different doctors and spent a Sunday evening waiting at the A&E. But I've never seen this love so clearly before. This love is fierce. This love is tender. This love has cradled me through pastoral paradise, brushed past jagged cliffs and brought us into the heart of the stoic mountains that stand majestic. We are in a clam, serene place. It's a good place to be in. 

I stand on my tiptoes and cast my eyes further into the days. The rest of 2012 in retrospect: wearing my sparkly prom dress to a wedding dinner, witnessing the exchange of vows as the sun set over the ocean, being an hour early for class on the last first day of school, cannonballing into the sea from the roof of a yacht, partying like a rockstar at my first hen's night. 

This moment is over. The whistle has sounded, the conductor beckons. I step towards the train, one foot on the tread, and took one last long look, not quite believing that I've sort of tumbled and cavorted through all of that in the span of 17 days.The whistle sounds again and the wheels chug. Here we go, 2012! I absolutely cannot wait for the rest of the 348 days. 

why i love Christmas

why i love Christmas

There is something truly magical about Christmas. Being a non-believer, it has little to do with the birth of Christ or going to Church. Being a non-consumerist (or so I'd like to believe), it is not all about sales and discounts. So why do I love this festive season so much? 

Maybe it's the lights that go up in town every year. Maybe it's the gifts and the excitement (and often headache) of picking out gifts for the ones I love. Maybe it's the eating, the drinking and the partying. Maybe it's the funnily shaped conical trees decorated with lights and globes and angels. Maybe it's the idea of Santa. Maybe it's the endless renditions of Holy Night. 

More likely, it's a combination of all of those. 

But it's also the time of the year to wrap up and take stock, to find time and reflect, to stop work and have fun, to look back and give thanks, to remember and to love, to laugh and to smile. It is the whole year's laughter and tears drawing to a close, of happy moments and the in-betweens. It is when the whole world, finally, stops for awhile to celebrate a season of love. The mad rush to close accounts in the office, finish up Christmas shopping, wrap all the presents - all just so we can go home for a good meal together, with family and friends. 

Urban life is often an endless loop of work, appointments, projects, assignments, deadlines and whatnots. The 25th of December and the few days after which lead up to the new year allow us to pause and take a deep breath. It's a bookmark, a snapshot, a fullstop. It's Christmas. 

2011 in pictures

2011 in pictures

Beginnings: 

Started the year with my girls home for summer break. 

Kicking off the lunar new year with a boisterous affair at home.

Turned 22.

Summer:

Did the same things I said I'd never do again and had a helluva time.

Had a taste of adulthood during summer internship.

Pranced on the tracks for the first and last time.

Remembering old times in Montreal.

Took a shot at dreams I've always kept. 

Drove in Malaysia for the first time on a roadtrip with the AC peeps. 

Watched G toss his mortarboard into the sky. 

Marked our second year.

Flew to Bali, to celebrate graduation, anniversary and first job.

Second half:

Missed these girls terribly at school.

Walked on the bright side. 

Still rolling in the mud.

Took some time to appreciate art. 

Rediscovered the wonders of technology. 

Went on adventures mid-semester. 

Adapting to school without G.

Thrown into the life of Honours year. 

Spent time with the dog.  

Rolled around on the lawn at U-Town. 

Marveled at my #1 motivation.

The last stretch:

Celebrated surviving the first half of the Honours battle! 

Had an epiphany for my longest essay yet. 

Getting honked at in the middle of Orchard Road with these silly girls.

Found time to be alone and be happy alone.

Elated to have this girl home again.  

Gearing up for my favourite time of the year.

Counting 10 years of friendship and more.

Found that crossroads sometimes bring people together. 

Made new friends.

And new dreams too.

To 2011, cheers.

found: valentine's gifts

found: valentine's gifts

While looking for some ribbons and stickers, I opened up old boxes and found cards, letters and various mementos that I've collected over the years.  These are the Valentine's Day gifts I've received from G over the years, each one with its own story.

2009.

2009 - our first Valentine's together. A sleek black box, labeled Angel. He told me about the days he spent in Germany, where he walked as a lonely man on the streets when he found this. Jumper and Angel came in a pair, and he bought them both, knowing some day he'll find someone for Angel. He did.

2010.

2010 - our second Valentine's together, but away. A long red envelope, addressed to me. I waited and waited, running across the small apartment to the door each time I heard the postman's footsteps. It was a white Valentine's in Montreal, beautiful but lonely. He asked "Do you know how much I love you?" I do. 

2011.

2011 - our third Valentine's together, again. An old brown box, yellowing with age. It said "G, give this to the woman you love." A story from sometime long ago, before I knew him. Deutschland encore, a special person in his life made a prophecy about us. He gave it to the woman he loves.

Maybe, I could have loved you before I met you. 

good morning indeed!

good morning indeed!

So, one rare morning, I woke up feeling totally refreshed at the unearthly hour of 830am despite going to bed some 4 hours before and suddenly found myself with too much time to spare. I spent a good 15mins in bed texting everyone GOOD MORNING WORLD! Just because I was awake.

Wow, good morning. It's been awhile since I've actually experienced this thing called morning. My brain went into overdrive. What do we do with mornings?? A brilliant idea struck me - let's get some exercise in the morning sun! Cycle to the lake, breathe in some fresh air, say hi to random folks and then drop by the mall to grab some healthy ingredients for a wholesome brunch!

That, of course, was only the plan. What really happened was this: I wobbled my way to the lake on the too-big bike, narrowly missed a few pedestrians and grinned like a Cheshire cat when I finally reached the park, where there is no traffic. Except there was. Old couples in wheelchairs took up most of the pavement, and of course I swerved to give way, with a big gracious smile. Since I was busy smiling, I didn't quite realize where I was headed towards.

Eventually, I found out that I was on the grass patch. No biggie, I'd just cut across the short distance to the pavement again. But the bike didn't seem to move very much despite my most strenuous pedaling! Of course, this was some nature park and I was stuck in some marshy fauna area. What the hell is a fauna area anyway?! Well, let me tell you, it's just an innocent looking patch of grass that's a freaking mud pool in disguise.

Never mind, we'll still have a GOOD MORNING. So I ventured onward to the boardwalk to enjoy the view. All's good. Time to wobble home. And wobble did I. I wobbled and fell because this woman was sitting in the middle of the pavement practising her catnap skills. I guess that was the final straw for my poor bike. It refused to budge another inch!

So I stood there, dumbfounded, grease on my hands from trying to fix the bike, mud on my feet from trying to save the world, grinning like an idiot at my own stupid predicament. And then I heard the bombs. The tree I was standing under apparently made the best toilet for the birds!

Nothing like running away from bird shit to start a girl off on her 3km walk home with a broken bike. Oh, mornings!

of elevens

of elevens

The music is too loud, we complain. We are getting too old, we concede. The night is still young, we concur.

Moscato wine from the bottle, favourite place by the river, eleven our magic number.

High and giggly from all the alcohol, we stroll along the skyline of our city, humming softly. The urban fireflies dot the skies, stars in the background. Why did they say the city is not made for love? We are. And that's quite enough.

We feel young and almighty, the weight of the skyscrapers light as feather. We make pacts for the future and get lost in the present moment. A lie is a cooperative act, but we speak only the truth. Your reputation precedes you, but I say love precedes us. And it'll be here a long time after we're gone.

Do you believe in absolute truths, I ask. Nothing about this moment is real. We live in our construction. We construct us. We create the world in our imagination.

Some time in history, light years ago, in a form different from what I am now, I imagined this moment.

Eleventh of the eleventh, eleventh of the eleventh of the eleventh.

(This word begins to look like an elephant. Maybe I'm a little drunk. Incoherent poetry for those who live in dreams. Postmodern. But I digress.)

11:11. 11/11/11. One and one, always a pair, never alone. Isn't that what everyone wishes for?

Happy 11th, my wish-came-true.