Between this year and the last, I think I've made more decisions than I ever had in my entire life. These are decisions that will affect my future directly, so I've been doing alot more thinking than I usually do about decisions. Edging towards adulthood is scary!
When I applied for university, I was hoping to get into law at either NUS or SMU. It's not that I have a particular interest in law, but I really wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, and I wanted to make a real difference in people's lives. When I didn't get in, I tried for the University Scholar's Programme with NUS instead. I'm not entirely sure what it's about, but I do know it's rather prestigious. And finally after a disastrously political interview, I applied for the Language Preparation Programme (LPP, which allows me to take French and then go for SEP in either France or Switzerland, where I'd do my exchange modules in French), so that I would be doing something different in FASS.
To be honest, I don't think I'll be as happy in law as I am in FASS, but I used to think being in FASS does not do justification to my A levels results. It was partly due to hearsay, and partly due to simple social expectations and the prestige of a career in law. But now, I'm just very glad to be genuinely interested and intrigued by what I'm studying.
Last semester, I put in quite abit of time and effort for French, and the result slip showed a B+. I thought the grade didn't quite justify the amount of work. After much thought, I decided to press on with it this semester and took French 2.
Recently, after looking through more SEP options, I withdrew from the LPP, and decided to go elsewhere for SEP. I thought long and hard about it, weighed each option with its outcome, and came to this decision. It's not cowardice; it's priorities. I want to spend my time pursuing a double-major in Sociology and Lit instead.
Of course, once in awhile I'll wonder what would it be like if I had gone ahead to France or Switzerland. The culture, the language, the beauty. Then again, I'm sure I'll have equally exciting and precious memories made in whichever country I end up in. Whatever it is, it's definitely not regret.
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